"I wouldn't touch his id with a ten foot pole."
My Fair Ernest T. Bass


Original airdate
February 3, 1964


Andy tries to pass off Ernest T. as a sophisticate at a swanky party.


Andy tries to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear when he takes it upon himself to turn Ernest T. into a presentable gentleman. The big test comes at Mrs. Wiley's weekly reception when Andy tries to pass him off as his cousin Oliver "Ollie" Gossage from Raleigh. Even Andy is surprised at Ernest T.'s progress when Mrs. Wiley places his accent as being definitely Back Bay Bostonian, but the whole scheme blows up when Bass smashes a vase over the head of a man who won't allow him to cut in for a dance with his chosen woman.


  • The window that Ernest T. Bass breaks with a rock in the very first scene is clearly made of paper, yet we hear the sound of glass breaking.
  • Ramona Ankrum appears for the first and only time as Ernest T.'s love interest (he calls her Romeena). Romeena would inspire Ernest T. to get an education in The Education of Ernest T. Bass and inspire him to get a job to pay for their honeymoon in Malcolm at the Crossroads (Ernest T.'s final appearance). Ernest T. Bass would appear unmarried in the TV Movie Return to Mayberry but whether or not he ever married Romeena (she could have passed away or they could have divorced) is not mentioned.
  • This episode features the first appearance of Mr. Schwump (or Schwamp). He appears in numerous episodes by name and in many crowd/group scene throughout the series. He never speaks a line and is thus never credited for his appearances. As a result, he has become somewhat of an enigma with fans of the show. Despite numerous efforts, no one has ever discovered the name of the actor who portrayed Mr. Schwump.
  • The Actor that played him, played the same type of character on Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.


Mrs. Wiley: Oh, no. It's him. That animal. That creature!
Ernest T. Bass: Creachster? Who you callin' a creachster?

Ernest T. Bass: How do you do Mrs. Wiiiiley?

Barney: “I wouldn’t touch his id with a ten foot pole.”

Ernest T. Bass: (Barney stepped outside of Andy’s house to show Ernest T how to enter a room. You see Andy and Ernest T staring at the door waiting on Barney to re-enter the room when Barney knocks on the door. Ernest T looks up at Andy as serious as a judge and asked, “I wonder who that could be?”

Andy tries to get Ernest T how to speak correctly. He tells him he is talking through his nose. Andy: “You’re twangin’l Ernest T: “Oh, well, I do that on purpose so’s I can talk whilst I eat.”

Barney: “He’s got slim pickings here. Dogs. Nothing but dogs. Andy, If you flew a quail through this room every woman in here would point.”


Previous episode: Next episode:
Barney's Sidecar Prisoner of Love