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Summary[]

Andy hires Ernest T. Bass as a school crossing guard and compounds the problem by replacing him with British bicycler, Malcolm Merriweather.

Plot[]

Ernest T. bass takes a job as a school crossing guard to earn enough money ($12) to buy a tent and a lantern for his honeymoon with Ramona.

Andy fires him because he throws rocks (and then a brick) at cars that don't stop when he holds up his sign.

Malcolm Merriweather takes over the crossing guard job, which infuriates Ernest T. That is further complicated by his recognition that Malcolm is English, which as an Irishman means to E.T. that he must hate him.

Ernest T. challenges Malcolm to a fistfight at high noon. After much effort, Andy dissuades Ernest T. from fighting by telling him Malcolm is half Irish.

Unfortunately, Ernest T. finds out the truth in the epilogue.

Notes/Trivia[]

  • This is the last appearance of Ernest T. Bass and Malcolm Merriweather. This episode is also the only color episode these characters appear in, as well as their only appearance in the 6th Season.
  • Goober's impression of Cary Grant was previously used in the Fourth season episode, The Fun Girls.
  • This is the only episode where Goober, Floyd and Malcolm appear with Ernest T. Bass.
  • This is the first color episode where Opie doesn’t appear.

Goofs[]

Music[]

Quotes[]

"My Mommy and my Daddy was both Irish, which makes me Irish too. I am a proud product of their mari-tal bliss!"

"You Englishter, you low-down, ornery Englishter!"

Goober: "Want me to train you, Malcolm? I used to be a bully when I was younger!".

Gallery[]


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"Andy's Rival" "Aunt Bee the Swinger"
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